you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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