I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
