So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
