Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
