There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
