The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
