If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
