i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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