i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it because I queefed?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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