sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
