real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
time to smoke my breakfast
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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