I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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