what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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