so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
