A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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