We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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