Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
