You can't motorboat a personality
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
