Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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