Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
