the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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