Im at strip club and am horny
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
