she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize