i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
