Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just pynch a tree in the face
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize