Ambien. No doubt about it.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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