Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
