You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
