Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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