he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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