So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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