so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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