I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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