Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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