chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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