There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
