He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
