Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
