What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize