you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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