Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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