Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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