This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
