how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We need to rekindle our bromance
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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