Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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