yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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