He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
