does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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