worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
