Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My ass is underappreciated
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
