i just wanna soil my oats bro
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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