I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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