i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
