I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
