i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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