I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
soo... how was my night?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
