I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
