The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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