the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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