Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Did I show you my penis last night?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
