Me. At least after what I've been through.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
bring money and cleavage
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
