god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
