I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize